Monday is Cocoa Day in the frigid wastelands of my office. i should open a chain of cafes that look just like office kitchens, it will be all self-serve and will consist only of amalgamated powdered beverages, just like you whip up at work. for example, what i'm drinking right now will be called the Choco-Cardigan, for those days when the air conditioning is cranked up and you left your sweater on the kitchen table at home: two packets Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa (one sugarfree, one w/sugar), two Mini-Moo hideously synthetic non-dairy creamers, hot water from the water cooler, and one Hershey's Kiss. A similar treat is the Mint Mock Mocha my friend from Reebok invented one slow afternoon: half a cup of industrial coffee, one cocoa packet, assorted dairy from the various carafes at the condiment station, and a couple Altoids for a zingy mint shot. Also, there's the Deep Throat: one teabag, 50 squeezes-worth of honey from the Honey Bear, 1/4 cup hot water, and three quarters of lemon purloined from the salad bar in the cafeteria. man, this will be like the Microsoft of beverage joints! i'm a cheap and evil genius!
all of which brings me to Salon's Worst Summer Movies That Never Were, which is pretty accurate, for a spoof. having seen the lumbering 'Pearl Harbor' and the more-than-decent 'Shrek' in LA last weekend, i am not looking forward to the cinematic harvest with any great anticipation, except for Harry Potter, but that's not until Thanksgiving. can i get any more geeked out? highly likely.
